This Post is Rated R...for Rant

An Open Letter to the People Behind Us in the Movie Theater Today Who Felt the Need to Talk (Not Whisper, mind you, TALK) During ALL of Harry Potter;

I learned a lot about you today. I see now that you are the kind of person who doesn't like to read. Fine, I don't understand you, but I respect your right to wallow in your illiteracy.

I also see that you are the kind of person who chooses to see a movie without reading the book that goes along with it first (or, for that matter, watch the preceding FIVE movies that are part of the story). I don't understand that either, but whatever.

I also found out that you have a seemingly uncontrollable need to TALK (not whisper) to the person next to you, who may or may not know any more about the storyline than you do. It seems that you have the need to do this throughout the entire movie.

Apparently it's extremely important for you to mention (during the opening credits of the movie) to your neighbor/conversation companion how Bob (whoever THAT is) "needs to get that there THX surround sound so that he can hear better." And how Bob ordered the Whisper 2000 off of the infomercial, and that seems to have helped a little. I knew right then that we would have a special, special relationship.

I also learned that you have zero patience when it comes to suspense, build up, foreshadowing, or any other cinematic device employed during the movie to keep the rest of us interested in where the plot is going. You kept asking your equally Chatty Cathy neighbor "What's going on?" "Who's that?" "Why is he crying?" "I thought he was dead." and my favorite: "Isn't this the last movie?!" Thanks for asking all those burning questions the rest of us are just too involved in the storyline to ask.

Also, double thanks go out to your partner-in-annoyingly-loud-crime for indulging your curiosity by answering EVERY SINGLE question.

Incidently, noisy neighbor, thanks for allowing me a unique insight into your IQ bracket by answering the majority of your friend's questions incorrectly!! ("No, this is not the last movie. There are at least three more.")

Also, if you see your cousin; you know, Person Who Talks On Their Cellphone/Sends Text Messages/Shines Their Cellphone Light Around the Theater During the Movie, tell them I said hi and thanks, once again, for providing a much needed distraction during the movie. I knew I was getting WAY too involved in the plot!

Thanks for all the great memories! Take care!

Much Love,

Rebekah